3 years later..... i’m back here again. ha ha.

and it seems like everytime when i’m back here, i’m here to update bad news. :\
i guess because i see the need to keep a record about things so when i look back, i can tell myself that i’ve been through a bad episode and survived - i wrote something like that 3 years ago, isn’t it?

3 years ago, i went through an ordeal of backpain, and tooth pain incident.
i sort of managed to get well from it - thank god!

but today, i’m here to update yet another bad episode that happened about 2+ months ago.

so on 27 June, i was clearing the office.
i went to throw things at our level’s rubbish chute. the chute is always a faulty at times - like stuck cuz don’t know which asshole always make it spoilt; we've complaint a few times. everytime it's fixed, it would get faulty again.
so anyway this time, it’s stucked again as usual. whenever it was like this last time, i was still able to open it nonetheless.
i thought this time would be the same, so i tried to open.
while i was trying, the chute suddenly open and it bend my right thumb backward and it hurts like hell.

it's a heavy metal chute by the way.

after throwing the rubbish and getting back to office, i iced my thumb.
that night, i iced my thumb as well.
i let it be because i tell myself, let’s not overreact....... maybe it will get better.
one week had passed, my thumb and wrist area are still hurtful.
that's when i decided to go to the sinseh on 3 July.
after a week plus, it still didn't get well so i went to see the sinseh again.
after a week, it still didn't get well so i went to the sinseh opposite my house.
i see the sinseh again after 2 days because the receptionist said to go back again if still didn't feel better.

i thought it would get better, but it didn't.
in fact, the discomfort escalated up to my whole arm until shoulder and neck.
i also felt that there's this fullness sensation on my neck and head when i showered.
(as of the past few days, i felt it again together with some strange sensation on both my hands)

on 1 August, i woke up feeling numbness on my hands. feeling worried, i've decided to just go see the GP who fixed my backpain 3 years ago. he diagnosed me with tendonitis so i have to eat medication for 2 weeks. he said the pain would get better about 3-5 days after medication and the numbness should go off by the 2nd week.

after 2 weeks, i went back to him again cuz i feel better but not recovered yet. the numbness/stiffness at my arm when i woke up everyday was still there. i was then given a new set of medication. was told that the symptoms which i'm having would take about 6 weeks to go off. so he asked me to eat the medication for 2 weeks first and if i feel better, i can go back to buy the medication and eat for another 4 weeks (i can decide to buy 2 weeks or 4 weeks).

many (suay) things happened in between. which is taking a toll on my physical and mental health.
i tired myself out and i also made the people around me tired.

at this point, i am still on medication for 1 month already, which includes a muscle relaxant.
i did indeed feel better so i've decided to eat for the last 2 weeks (which will make up to 6 weeks of this new set of medication) but i may want to cut down on the muscle relaxant because i am really not sure if muscle relaxant can be taken daily?! although it's only once a day.

so anyway, my focus now is just to get better. so that i can feel better and be back to who i am.
i dislike how i am now - depressed almost everyday.
我也吃藥吃到怕~ 已經吃了差不多快要兩個月的藥了。T_T
i can only console myself with, been there done that. now it's just one more time so let's get it over and done with!! be back healthy after that!

somehow i feel like laughing at myself though.
cuz this is like a repeat episode from 3 years ago. the same kind of agony i'm facing.

once again, it's like if only....... if only i didn't open the damn rubbish chute that day. i would be worry-free now.
but really, what wrong have i done? i just wanted to throw things only.
i could have just left the rubbish on the floor but i didn't. i was being considerate so i tried to open the chute to throw.
but tamade, it really doesn't pay to be nice cuz why does this kind of things have to happen to me?!
is there any regret? hell yes.
but then again, i tell myself, 人生真的沒有早知道。
all i can say is....... it's just another unfortunate event. :(

but it's ok.
was told that everything happens for a good reason.
well, i shall be positive once again now.
because positive vibe brings positive results.

i believe, i'll get through this bad episode and be back stronger again.
come on yuehui, you can do it. you will recover!!
jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!!!!

ps: next time if there's anything (touchwood), just see western doctor. haha. not much faith in tcm now.

one of the take-aways from Train to Busan is that, dads are always the "黑臉" but they always make all the sacrifices.

kinda true.

series of unfortunate events 2.0

so i'm here today to rant about the 2.0.
warning first: it's a very long story rant.

as i was saying, my back and leg issue were getting better.
but this issue gotta happened. :(
my bottom left molar (last tooth) has got an issue.
it was a long story, before i start on it, i have to side track on what was going on first.

so, there was a tooth (canine tooth) growing out at an awkward position. it was supposed to replace the upper right 3rd tooth from the middle, however, the baby tooth is still there. yup, *armstrong*
so this canine tooth decided to grow in between the upper right 4th and 5th tooth from the middle, which is not its position.
therefore, in order to solve this problem, braces is the way to go.
i've been considering it and i thought i should finally get it done.
hence i've been to the dental a few times for consultation with the orthodontist, and i've decided to do it. but before that, i have to go for a CT scan to see if the canine tooth will be able to track down even though the dentist cannot be 100% guarantee; but i thought, alright just get it scan first.

so my CT scan appointment for that canine tooth is on 16 april.
one week before the appointment, i had dinner with shuwen and my thai friends who were in town.
i was dipping the mantou into the chilli crab sauce and biting the mantou thinking i am eating soft mantou, which i really am!
out of a sudden, my lower left tooth bit on a very hard particle; i reckon was the last tooth.
it was a very big impact.
at that moment, i could feel my jaw aching and i couldn't really chew food as i will have the suan suan feeling. it felt like that side of the jaw has little strength to function. i was worried, and i was feeling my tooth had a weird feeling. being paranoid as i am, i can only describe i thought it felt like the tooth was sink deeper into the root? LOL. but i think i might be paranoid.
and at that point, i couldn't make up was it the last molar or the 2nd last molar but i personally think it should be the last molar.
after like 15min, it got better and i can chew normally though i still feel weird. i think it's all in the psychology.

when i was on the way home, i was thinking about it, worried if the tooth is cracked, etc.
however, the next day i feel fine.
few days later, i was eating bingsu and i thought i had this sensitive sensation at that affected area while eating the shaved ice. but then again, it could be my mind playing with me again. #paranoid

fast forward to one week later, it was my CT scan appointment.
the oral surgeon did the CT scan and think it should be safe to track down the tooth though he said really there's no promise. because there were rare cases whereby it seems positive but in the middle of the treatment, the tooth decided not to come down and have to be extracted.
however, he thought that i don't have much choice also because the 4th tooth seems affected by this growing tooth so it's no point keeping it.

after the consultation, i thought since i'm at the dental and he is the oral surgeon, i should ask him check on the last tooth just in case there was any problem, i can have it fixed before i start on my braces.

he was checking and using some tool to poke on it. there were grooves at my last tooth, like black color lines. he said when he was using the tool to poke on it, the grooves seem to be opening/moving; he asked if i grind my teeth because that might be the cause of it. he was afraid that it might crack one day, so he said i might need crowning to protect it. -.- however, he said he will refer me to this dentist at his dental for a check because, quoting him, "she is expertised in crowning".

at that point, i'm like, hell noooooooo #simisai

that dentist (let's call her dentist A) was on duty that day but her schedule was full.
the receptionist asked me if i want to go back to see her one week later, but i was thinking abit leychey. so she checked and see if she can squeeze me in for a while because it was only consultation.
just happened the patient that she was seeing is on the way, so the receptionist squeezed me to see her. "consultation no treatment ya?" and i replied, yes.

so i went in, and to my surprise, dentist A is very young. i was expecting someone older because "she is expertised in crowning". :x

she said, "i don't know why Dr XXX referred you to me, let me see ah...." so she was reading his report.
then she proceeded to check on my last tooth.
she said it seems fine and feel that there is no need to do crowning at this stage.
then i said oh ok because Dr XXX said when he poke the tool on it, it moves, so i also don't know.
then she said, "oh ok let me see again ah.."
she looked at my last tooth again, and say, "well there is abit of cracks la but i think no need to the extent to do crowning. i will just do fillings for you. i prefer to go the conservative way, crowning is invasive."

at that point, i thought, ok you sound like make sense. and i naively thought doing filling was a basic dental procedure so i did not stop her or anything.

to think about it now, i regret every. single. time.
i should have stopped her. i should have say, let me consider about it because THERE WAS NO PAIN AT ALL. or i should have asked her to show where did the cracks move?
i should have just stick to "consultation no treatment ya?".
all these repeated in my mind every single fucking time i thought about this.
but i trusted their profession.

if only, yeah if only. *roll eyes*
so she proceeded to do the fillings - which actually, at a later point i realised it was not exactly filling but something called sealant. which is just sealing up the crack lines/grooves. but i think she did drill the black color thingy out from the grooves because when i gargled water out, i saw black particles.

everything was done, i feel abit unusual but i thought that it should be like this because it's a new thing done in my mouth.
she told me, "maybe give chance to the tooth or jaw la. it was only 1 week before you bit on the crab shell, so like our muscle ligament, when it has impact, it needed some times to heal back."

it all sounded logical.
i waited to make payment and the oral surgeon happened to come out, and asked me how was the consultation and he read her report. he frowned and went in to talk to her.
after awhile, he came out, and he said, "well she decided to go the conservative way that's why she did the filling. but i find that the tooth is abit unusual, so if in any point of time you feel pain, please come back again."

at that point, i'm like wah so serious ma?

i was really fucking wrong.

all the while i had this weird feeling which i thought it should be like this for the first few days.
however, few days later, on a sunday, it suddenly feels painful.
it felt like when i was having wisdom tooth kind of pain, but the wisdom tooth at that side has already extracted few years ago. i tolerated and called the clinic first thing in the morning and described my pain.
that dentist was on duty that day but she was fully booked.
the receptionist said she will check and get back to me later in the day. she didn't.
so later in the day, i was feeling really uncomfortable, and i called back again, saying they were supposed to get back to me.
the other receptionist checked and later the dentist called me back to ask me to describe the kind of pain i was experiencing.
after abit of negotiation, she managed to squeeze me in as the last patient of the day.
i went, and she took a localised xray of that tooth and did a few tests check. she filed the sealant a little.
she said all was fine.
she even got another dentist on duty in to take a look at the xray to give a 2nd opinion, and that dentist thought it was fine too.
i really don't know what the fuck was wrong man.
she then told me to relax and don't think too much about it, and go home to heat pack it. maybe i was feeling stress - which i fucking don't think so.
she also gave me painkiller, to eat it when necessary.

so the next few days didn't feel good as well.
the tooth is like burning inflammation kind of pain if you would ask me to describe.
i called the dental again, and requested to see that oral surgeon who referred me to her.
so i managed to get a last slot on the weekend.
i went, and he checked, and filed down abit of the sealant. he said maybe the sealant is leaning against the gum at the back, cuz the gum look abit swollen. he said maybe i should file down the tooth and cut the gum so to not impact so much. i'm like wtf hell noooooo??
he asked me back for review in one week's time but my half yearly scaling and polish appointment with dentist B just happened to be one week later. so he said i can also let dentist B see and if there's anything, ask dentist B to follow up with him.

one week later, dentist B saw me and she was reading the reports.
"woah, it's been half a year and seem like so many things had happened!"
she looked at the localised xray again, lighten the color and saw a suspicious line on the tooth.
she suspected there was a crack in the tooth. however, she need to remove the sealant which dentist A did for me, and by removing, she also had to remove a bit of my tooth. i'm like ok~~~ i don't have a choice as well.

so she removed, and she showed me on the mirror, the line she was suspecting to be a crack.
i saw it.
she was touching it and i could feel a sensation; i really don't know was it psychological at that point of time.
so she said, now she will do filling to cover it and see how it goes. hopefully i will feel better and i do not have to go for root canal or anything because it's complicated and expensive.

after the filling, to be honest, i indeed felt better. but it wasn't completely good.
i think this episode of inflammation feeling ruined the nerves on my head?
i could feel this pulling sensation at my neck. at some point before the filling, i feel hard to breathe; but not sure was it psychological again.

i went back for review one week later, dentist B said it might be that the nerve was reacting to the filling though it was a deep filling. i was asked to go back for review two weeks later so that she can take a localised xray of that tooth again, and by then, it would be one month after the first localised xray.

in between, i was still not feeling ok. i started to have this symptom whereby when my nostrils expand (like yawning), my left eyelid will tremble. :( this is really not hallucinating because until now, yes few months later already, it is still there. i'm really not sure is it the facial nerves affected or what. sigh!

and during that two weeks, i went Penang holiday with my family.
there was a part whereby i had this tight feeling at my left cheek, especially after smiling a lot or during hot weather. :( and i feel my bite was abit different. everything was just different.

i went for the review, and dentist B took the localised xray and all looked good to her. she looked 無奈 and she suspected it could be relating to jaw muscles.
so laoniang was referred back to that very same oral surgeon who firstly suggested i might need to do crowning who then referred me to dentist A and all these started. -.-

so i went to see him and he did an assessment of the jaw. which they called it tmj disorder (temporomandibular joint dysfunction). he asked if i was feeling stressed, etc. i really think zhen de hai hao?? then he asked if i grind, but LAONIANG REALLY DON'T THINK SO?!?!?! at most i think i might have clenched.

so anyway, he prescribed me anti-inflammatory medicine WHICH I THINK SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO ME ALL THE WHILE, and muscle relaxant.

alright, so i indeed feel better. i think the anti-inflammatory works. i don't feel much of the jaw clicking or when i pressed on my jaw joint, there's this shooting pain up to the affected tooth.
which is good news, but it doesn't feel the same as before anymore :(

i went back for his review, and he said maybe give it some times because it doesn't heal easily. -.- thanks for the memories.
he also referred me back to dentist B to check on the possibility of cracked tooth that might be giving all these problems; which i need to wear a band over the affected tooth or what. i haven't go for the appointment yet, because i think i need to seek a 2nd opinion at ANOTHER DENTAL.

i went to the dental which i went before going to this dental.
felt abit paiseh......... so i went and explained everything.
of course, the dentist can't do much which i totally understand.
probably os is served me right? LOL.
but he said since i'm feeling better, he feels that maybe should not do anything to it and monitor and see first.

however, the conclusion i gathered from this consultation is that i may have done an unnecessary dental work. oh well! :(

my tooth oh my tooth~~~~~
so now i'm stuck in this situation.
i mean, i felt better as compared to few months back, which i'm quite thankful.
however, it really isn't the same anymore.

i couldn't say i am not affected by it, because i really am.
i was even more affected before, that i really think i'm sinking into depression.
i felt it was the lowest point of my life.

but all thanks to friends' encouragements, etc. i pulled through that part of my life. i decided to be more positive because negative thoughts gave negative results. it wasn't helping.
so i shouldn't be tied down by all these.

right now, i'm still seeking solution to this problem.
my option is:
1) redo the filling by the dentist that i last went, because he doesn't like the filling which was done by dentist B; he felt that it's not good to place for a back molar.
2) go seek opinion from an endodontist. i have a reference letter from a GP which i went to when i was having cough, and i told him about the problem. he said endodontist specialised in pain management, so maybe they could help.
3) extract the bloody tooth, which i think it's very wasted. and i don't know what's the consequences. like will it make the rest of the teeth shift? or will extracting it makes me stop feeling the gao-wei feeling at my left cheek, the pulling sensation at the left temple, and the tremble eyelid issue. :(

i'm so lost........
all i can say is damn suay and this is really an unfortunate event if i should say.
but then again, i am also not very sure.
perhaps all the pain really has got to do with the crab shell. like it's the aftermath of the incident, and not really any dentist's fault etc.

perhaps, i should not eat that mantou that day. sigh!

everything is linked man seriously.

and because of this issue, i dare not proceed on with my braces treatment.
i really have no confidence yet, until i get this solved.

everything just feel so different now.
how i wished i can turn back time.
but..... it's not possible.

i can only hope for the best, and that maybe miracle happens.
so for now, i should try to live positively.
because positivity attracts positive results.
it's not like it's the end of the world!!
jiayou yuehui!! you can do it!!!!!!

till then,
yuehui

series of unfortunate events 1.0

this 1.0 is pertaining to my leg pain that became back pain that became whole of my right side body's pain. -.-

it all started since last year.
actually i've been feeling my right foot/ankle hasn't been working the same since i was back from my chiangmai trip at November 2014. but all the while i thought i might have strained it somehow when i was trekking at chiangmai; as there was one instance i nearly slipped but still remained composed.

the first half of 2015 was bearable, though i went to the sinsei (2 different kinds) to seek relief.

then i went to NYC and because i felt fat after coming back and not running for a few weeks, so i up my running mileage though a part of it is also because i thought it was also time for me to up my mileage as i wished to join a 10km run soon.

well, i guess i was being too ambitious. too fast too soon.
some days i would go for yoga in the morning and run a 6-10km run in the evening.

then it all came crashing just after one month.
i don't feel quite right but i thought well, maybe it's just me. so i should persevere on. #nevergiveup
i felt something weird at my knees also especially when i was going down the stairs.
so in between i still go for sinsei then rest for a week or two and back to my routine again when i felt my knees are better.
until December 2015, i slowed everything down.

the straining kind of feeling at my foot/ankle is still not going away.
sometimes i feel my right thigh (i googled and it's called ITB?) is straining as well.
there were times whereby i could feel the aching (suan-ness) at my right lower back to my right thigh.
it all got fixed abit by the sinsei but not completely.

then i feel, maybe sinsei was not right for me. because i've been to so many sessions and it's still not solving the problem. so i thought, maybe i should give physio therapy a try.
the kind of gaowei-ness has spread until sometimes when i sat on a chair and lean against it, i felt like my lower spine bone was protruding out. #paranoid i know but it really doesn't feel right.

i went to polyclinic to get a referral and it took about 1.5 month for the appointment. -.-
in between, i thought i could wait.
but there was once i cannot take it anymore.
so i went to a private physio first to see if i can get a temporary relief. expensive but at that time i really do not care, i even thought of going for MRI scan; all i wanted to do was to fix everything.

i was desperate and kind of depressed as well; because every waking moment, i feel the straining there. i could not and dare not run, i feel even more depressed.

and all i can say is, 人一衰，真的是TMD
i went to physio and they did an electric therapy and i got burnt at my leg cuz the voltage was too high i guess? -.-
but alright, it's not a very big problem so nevermind.
the physio therapist said my muscles was very tight, and that's what i kept hearing from her. like.... ok.

meanwhile, my mom introduced a GP to me who could fix back pain. at first, i was kinda skeptical but i still went ahead and voila, the medicine he gave me works wonder! i can feel the difference and not that much of gaowei though there still is! but at least, there was relief!! to me, this GP is a 神醫... i'm like OMG. :') it's no wonder so many people go to him and don't mind having to queue VERY EARLY in the morning; it's all worth it.

conclusion was i had muscles spasms at my calf, ITB and the whole of right back; hence my muscles was very tight - as said by the private physio and this masseur i went to for deep tissue sports massage (which is not bad!!). the doctor said my spine was abit degenerating? so the soft bone in between the lower spine got compressed and hence i felt the protruding sensation at my spine.
therefore, i need to eat the medicine for a few months to slowly heal it back.

but for now, i really feel SO MUCH better!! though the doctor said it won't be completely healed, but let's just do what we can. but i'm already very thankful for now.

so while i ate his medicine, the polyclinic's physio appointment finally came.
it was good, and i thought it's better than the private one as the physio therapist taught me the exercises THAT WORK.

so i self-combine the treatment to: eating GP's medicine + go to physio + sports massage to loosen muscles.

i went for the follow up session for my physio and the therapist said i'm cleared and can slowly get back to my workout routine. of course, if i feel anything wrong after getting back to workout, i should go back to him again.

so far, i haven't been going back to my routine like how i used to in the past; but i did it slowly.

i was so happy to be given the green light to go back to my workout until series of unfortunate events 2.0 happened. :( (story another day...)

so for this issue, i've been to 2 different sinsei, 1 private physio, 1 polyclinic physio, 1 GP, a trip to A&E at CGH to check, and sports massage.

ps: i was assured by the different professionals that it's not nerves related issues but muscles so i'm kinda relieve.

i was so tired and affected from these episodes and it made me so lifeless at that period of the time; it's like my bottom lowest point and i sometimes will cry thinking about it - depression? :/

and it doesn't help that i am paranoid so i tend to overthink.

but well, glad that this episode is relieved at the moment.
all i can say is HEALTH IS WEALTH.
really have to take good care of our body, and i cannot deny that i'm really catching up with age. :(
i'm like a 27 but having a 72 year old body.
oh well!

but that's not the end...... just as i was so happy to have one thing cleared, another thing just gotta happen.
so 2016 hasn't been good to me so far, i am really frustrated. sigh!

i will talk about series of unfortunate events 2.0 soon.

till then,
yuehui

so what happened during these 3+ close to 4 years?

the last time when i was still blogging, i was still studying part time at UniSIM.

i remember those days on how i rant about working and studying at the same time that i feel like dying, etc.

well, guess what?

i've graduated!!!!! hehehehehe

i've overcome all that and graduated just last year! ;) yeay!

i quit my previous job of 5 years at Warner, and i joined another company but i'm still working under the same old boss. ha! complicated but it doesn't really matter. i am happy in both places, i'd just say i'm blessed though there were zzz times at work la but who doesn't??

nonetheless, it's still the same industry. and 一轉眼，this year will be my 7th year in this line.

i feel so old.

想當年when i blogged excitedly on being accepted at Warner, i was only 20. gosh~ time flies!! xP

so anyway, i was looking back at my last resolution posted here; that was the resolution for 2012.

(man, i really feel like time froze in this space and i'm just trying to catch up!!)

eat healthy, be healthy.

i think i kinda achieved this.

not going to eat so much - checked

do more exercises to stay fit and wanting to take up yoga - checked

i seriously forgot what made me do this until i read about the post again - I WAS TOO FAT.

oh right, yes, of course. LOL. i was really fat but that's ok!

however, i wasn't unhappy or anything. i think i was just inspired to eat healthier subconsciously so my thinking and habits changed; i was kinda amazed with myself on this.

i try to be more aware of what i eat (up until now!) that will eventually be inside my body - so, processed food is eliminated out but not totally lah, hey! i'm human~~~

then i started running, i think i was inspired by my ex-colleague, Eve, who is a super runner!!!! lol.

anyway, i purchased a pair of proper running shoes; all thanks to Eve for introducing - i think i'm forever thankful to her for inspiring me unknowingly. hehe.

last time i ran with my old canvas shoes (Jack Purcell to be exact) and because it's not a proper running shoes, i think my motivation didn't last.

so after i got the proper running shoes, i started slow with short distance first; i told myself if i can do a 2.4km during secondary school, i can do it now too and i should start with at least a 2.4km! so there we go~ and then, i increased my mileage to 5km because i told myself i ran a 5km SHAPE run before so i can do it too. so there we go~ and i never stop. :) every run is a happy run. until recently........ when my leg muscles decided to not work well for me. that will be another story next time.

and yes, i also took up yoga on a regular basis! it was all good, and i really enjoy yoga too! but i'm currently on hold due to the leg muscles incident too.

but i'm not giving up just yet.

i'm just giving myself a break and i will pick myself up again from where i fell. ;)

so yup, these 3+ years, i eat healthy, be healthy and thus, i lost quite a number of weight.

kinda drastic in a sense that people might not recognise me if they haven't seen me for a long time!

so i think i should give myself claps. heh :p

disclaimer: i didn't go for any plastic surgery ok! hahahaha.

i think i just achieved this with the thoughts of being slowly but surely, and i got here. :)

of course there were down times in between the process, such as i think i got slightly obsessed on the idea of being "healthy" and i struggled and i would be too hard on myself so i start to question myself sometimes. my parents also got worried inevitably.

i won't go into details because i don't think it's big issue but all's good! ;)

eating breakfast.

totally achieved this because i eat breakfast everyday!!! i love breakfast!! and i think it was partly inspired by Crowd Lu, so thank you~ hahaha

save up money for more good gigs and travel often.

yep, i did. i've been going to concerts that i like. and travel often, i try to!

in fact, i travel more these few years. i guess that's because i'm earning my own money and got older~ haha. so it's easier to achieve my to-go places. and it is really a great sense of achievement being able to go to far places that i planned to go! i don't know how to describe that feeling, but i think you know what i mean~

in 2013, i went on a UK/Europe trip (London, Glasgow + Edinburgh, Dublin, Amsterdam). i remember blogging that i wanna find Pris at Glasgow within the 3 years that she was there and i made it!! Glasgow was part of this trip and we met to travel to Dublin and Amsterdam together. Dublin is the place which i've been thinking of stepping foot there just because i read Cecilia Ahern's books and they were all based there. LOL! yup, just like that. and coincidentally, Pris wanted to visit there too so we made it there! heh.

in between, i went to some other places; name a few - Taiwan, Seoul (my first time!! super love the food), Chiangmai (love this place too!) and my "hometown" BKK every year hahahaha.

then in 2015, i. finally. went. to. NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cue in song please!!!!*

this is a super epic trip because it was YY AND MY GRADUATION TRIP!!!!!!!!! and of course, i've been wanting to go there too!!

and it has a super great sense of achievement because.....

when we just started studying, we told ourselves that we NEED to save money and by the time we graduated, WE HAVE TO GO TO NYC FOR OUR GRADUATION TRIP. and strut down the street on NYC with a cup of latte on our hand. :x

we made it happened, so can you understand how great the sense of achievement is!??!?! LOL~~

we thought it will not happen, but it did! ;)

buy a SLR camera

never happen. LOL but it's okay~ :p

so yes, these are the main things in brief that i can remember now which happened during these few years.

when i have the time, i promise i will slowly catch up and write in more detail.

because some stuff really deserves to be written out and keep for memories' sake!!! lol

that's all for now.

goodnight!

yuehui

gosh, so how long has it been since i last blogged in this space?
freaking close to 4 years ago. HAHAHAHA!

hello world, i'm back here once again.
well, at least i have never forget about this space.

what prompted me to start blogging again is after reading/stalking YZ's blog and it kinda reminded me of those days whereby i used to love blogging my thoughts to keep my memories; so i thought to myself, hey i shouldn't be lazy and i should find that passion back.

the next thing that prompted me to start blogging again is because of the series of unfortunate events that had happened to me this first half of the year. yup, bad start of 2016. it's still not going well so i am hoping that everything will be better soon! nonetheless, i feel that there is a need to 記載 the series of unfortunate events to voice out and make myself feel better; in hope that one day when i look back at the post, i can tell myself, "hey i've been through the darkest days of my life (yes, they caused me to be depressed), so what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. good job, i'm great and life's great." lol. #simisai
oh, there is also a need to 記載 because i will use this to remind myself in future NOT TO MAKE BAD DECISION / NOT TO THINK TOO MUCH / NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE AGAIN.

but currently, i'm still in search for the solution to my problem. i really hope it can come to an end soon. *prays

i'm heading out in a while. so i'll update on the series of unfortunate events soon. (hope i don't procrastinate, LOL.)

lastly, close to 4 years are really long man! of course, inevitably, so many things happened / changed in between, so i'll try to 一一 mention the main things that happened too. (not in this post)
this is just to keep a record of my life. heh.

hello hello once again, feels kinda thrilled and good to be back in this space. :)

till then,
yuehui

i forgot which year's resolution was that, but i remembered writing that i wanna do yoga. lol.
so finally, i went for yoga class 1 month ago after purchasing a deal on groupon to try it out.
turns out i like it as i feel it does tone the body :)

i went for the last class with shihua today. we did 2hr yoga on the week before and today haha. give ourselves 33 claps haha. quite sad that it's the last class already, but i am in search for other yoga class to try out soon. hopefully i'll find one soon!

it really keeps me satisfied to do stuff like this and not forgetting, running! makes me feels so good and healthy to sweat it out! hehe. i need to keep this up! so jiayou yuehui! haha

but for now, it will be really good to have a good massage to knead those aches away haha. tomorrow shall be it! ;)

so after lunch with shihua today, i met up with YY to accompany her to have her tragus pierced today at a tattoo shop that i came across, and they happened to do piercing as well so YY decided to do it there lol.

when we were outside, we could already hear the buzzing sound of tattooing.
sounds abit scary but in the meantime very tempting.

a guy, who is the piercer, came out and asked if there is anything he could help with. after asking, he said that the shop was abit crowded at that moment so asked if we mind coming back 30min later. so yup, that 30min was all the time YY had to make her final decision lol.

30min later, we were back at the shop and YY had made up her mind. even though i am not the one who is doing the piercing, i am feeling nervous for her too hahaha.

walking into the shop, i saw two tattoo artists (the owner and co-owner) doing their job.
pardon me, but the suagu me first time stepped into a tattoo shop, seeing people got tattooed live lol. it's like miami ink live in action kekeke. to be honest, i was feeling a little excited hahaha seriously suagu.

while YY was getting herself pierced at the side, the owner asked me while doing someone else's tattoo, "you also wanna pierce or not?"

then i said, "nope, i prefer tattoo haha"

so she went on to ask where i wanna do my tattoo on and what is it. she seems to not encourage doing it on my wrist, perhaps afraid that it's obvious and i would be affected in getting a job in future. upon hearing the line of job i am in currently, she then said it should be fine haha but i replied that i also don't know how long would i stay in this line. :p

at a point, she jokingly said, "tattoo (now) la~"

then i said, "haha i'm not ready yet, next time~"
though i feel like just do it lol but decided not cuz this kind of thing better not do on impulse :\

so anyways, YY got her tragus pierced finally and it was not as painful as she expected it to be, and she's a happy YY now. LOL.

the people in this shop sounds nice, as per the impression of what their website has given me.
hopefully one day i would be back to get my tattoo done by the owner. :)


yuehui

老爸今天早上在送我上班的路程中，對我說：
“orh hor～ 你剛才對mommy沒有禮貌”

然後他說：
“人的心要學會放得開，如果放不開，就會一直活得不快樂”

已經在眼睛打滾很久的淚，終於忍不住
最後划過我的臉頰

i have to say you're okay to a certain extent, in certain area.... that's one part that i can look up to. i crossed my heart and tell the truth. i am always truthful in my words.
but i can never agree with your (bad) values

well, i am not stupid, don't think i don't know what you're up to! why can't you just be honest and use your own ability, and ahem capital, instead? like a leech and being irresponsible; actions really and actually show a lot about a person. in times like this, please get off asap since you're also not doing anything (beneficial) much. period.

in general, can be applied to anyone:
最受不了也最看不起不正當抄作手法
做人要做得光明正大
*鄙視*

lastly, may karma finds you soon.


yuehui

tattoo has always been a touchy issue in my family. i don't get it.
ever since the day i know that i want to get a tattoo when i grow up in the future, whenever i bring it up, it would be rejected or i would get nagged.

things like, "you are being unfilial if you get a tattoo because your body is given by your parents. you should not do anything to 'destroy' it when your parents had given you in perfect condition".

so this has been one of the reasons that has been stopping me to get a tattoo, something that i have been longing for. reason being is i do not want to disappoint my parents. i hate disappointment caused by me.

in fact, even when i wanted to get ear piercing in the past, it was also discouraged at home. with the same reason of any parts of my body is given by my parents so i am unfilial, etc crap. however, my mom has ear piercing, so wtf is wrong? they do not do what they preach, and this is what i hated most. i still got my ear pierced anyway, i see no big deal in it being unfilial wtf.

the thought of getting a tattoo has been strong these years, especially after i had turned 21. i feel that i am already an adult, this is my own life, i want to do things that i like. why should i be restricted by such things? it's my own fucking life and i should be in control of it myself. i don't see how unfilial it is to get a tattoo. filial or not is not judged by getting a tattoo? if i slapped my parents then please go ahead and call me unfilial. other than that, my mom also did eye lining cosmetic tattoo, and she's telling me all these craps? seriously? roll my eyes.

times like this i really hated being in an asian family. they always tell me things like if you are in a caucasian family, you think the parents will care about you after you have turned 18? they let you go and ask you not to bother them and let you rot outside in the society yourselves.

stereotype. it might be true to a certain but still! i think it's more of they let their children go out into the world and experience for themselves but i don't think it's till the extent of letting them rot and don't care about them. i'm sure they will always concern them times to times. and if there's anything happened, they will also welcome their children back at home. so seriously, asian parents have to stop brainwashing their children with such wrong idea, i'm glad i have a mind of my own to differentiate what's exaggeration. and yes, at times like this i really wished i'm in a caucasian family instead. period.

anyways, i just want to say..... to be frank, i also have a lot of thoughts about getting a tattoo. but i think i am pretty much on the positive side in getting a tattoo, it's just the matter of times. i think that it's my life, i live for myself. i shall not care if i disappoint people or not because truth is, i can never please everyone so why don't i be nice to myself and please myself instead? if you really were disappointed by me, then i can say that you only think of yourself but didn't think of me.

although my parents would not be able to read my blog, but i just want to say here that... i just hope if i ever get my tattoo, they will still accept and love me for who i am because i am still the same old me just with ink on my skin. isn't that how family goes? i also hope that they would understand that getting a tattoo has no link with being filial or not. i totally understand the traditional mindset of the "body given by your parents" concept and i actually know what they meant by the "unfilial" part, but please, i just hope you could see things in a different angle.

your child, me, has never been and never wanted to be that traditional since young. you should know that since you guys have also always been saying i idolize the western culture though i am honestly not idolizing; you and your misconception. i have been said a number of times but seriously nobody knows me better than myself so if you want to continue having the misconception then that's too bad cuz i can't control your mind as well.

your child, me, has always been independent with my own mindset.

your child, me, has grown up so please, i plead, appeal, beg, that you allow me to do things that i like and not judged me over it. whether or not i will regret in the future, that is really my problem. i totally bear all responsibilities.

and lastly, i just want you to know that life is really too short. if i don't do it today, i don't know when will i ever have the chance to. i always believe we should live happily doing things we love. even if one day i regret or had mistakes learnt in life in the hard way, but at least, i know that i did try before and hence i won't die without regrets. yes, that's life.

ps: i really really really think that tattoo is no big deal. who knows i might not get it in the end too? teehee! so, chillax~


yuehui

this week started with pms.

it got better the next day, with the help of a packet of chocolate. ok, confirmed it was pms.

i realised i am so blessed to have what i am having right now, i should be content.

it's not that i am not content before that, it's just that sometimes i took things for granted and kind of forget about it.

then i stop and stare, ok no stop and think, then i realized what the hell am i pissed off about? there are other things i should care about and i should spend my energy in those things instead. sigh i'm always impulsive, bad habits. :(

ok but that's the power of pms, i should never underestimate it.

so anyways, i was thinking about my life and my friends then i started to feel thankful. i must say i am really so blessed to have that few same old friends (you know who you are) with me all the times, i am deeply thankful. i am also truly grateful to my dad who sends me to work almost everyday, even though it is not on the way and he complains sometimes.

i actually should and really wanted to elaborate more but i am also really lazy to write these days so i think i'll just keep it in my heart. but i think i should begin to write more too to keep up the writing momentum, if not i am always stuck in writing my assignment cuz like writing blog, i get lazy too but for assignment i have no excuses to say "ok i'll just keep it in my heart". HAHAHAHA the tutor prolly think "ok then i'll keep the points in my heart too", you know? lol

ok i gotta get going, i'm supposed to do my assignment but as usual, i got distracted here and there. two assignments due in a week sucks, can't wait for wednesday to be over so that means i am free from assignments for the moment.

just a note for myself, i missed another discussion board again zzzzz... i usually did keep track of my assignment deadline but this time i totally overlooked this particular one. then again, i have to say it's really not easy having to work full time and study part time. T_T but i have to keep going on~ jiayou huey!

yuehui

:(

that chills down moment when you realized an envelope of money that was in your bag is gone, just. like. that.

yes, i experienced that yesterday. nothing can explain my feeling sigh~
that sum of money is to be used for this weekend's event, it is SGD$1,100.
now, can you explain the kind of feeling i am having? :(((((((((((((((

i didn't tell anyone about this sum of money in my bag so i reckon and believe it's real pure coincidence that this thief just wanted to check out the bag to see if there's any wallet/phone but to no avail then realized this envelope, then perhaps being the frequent thief he/she is, he/she can feel that inside this sealed up envelope is a stack of money and therefore decided to take it away. if it really happens this way, i can only say i'm really suay. :( my coin pouch is still in my bag but well, at that point of time that thief must be thinking, "why do i still need these coins when i already have this sum of money".

i really hate this kind of feelings, of things going missing suddenly and mysteriously.
stupid thief, why do you have to make me go through such feelings.

it then reminded me of the incident in secondary school whereby my classmate had just gotten his new iPod nano, it was the woah thing back then, so i was checking it out. i put on my desk in the classroom and turned behind to talk to my friend for awhile and i turned back, it was gone. -_- so i had to make an appeal trying to get the person to own up but of course, nobody owns up.

it also reminded me of another incident when i went for mv filming in taiwan. i left my pouch in the car and when i was back, i checked my money, i lost NTD$3,000 (equals to about SGD$150), mysteriously.

oh God, why does it always have to rain on me? T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T

and because of this incident, i made a police report for the first time.

to that person who took the money thinking that it's easy cash for you, shame on you, may karma finds you, perhaps your hand rot severely or something. so you will learn not to steal again. get a life man, go earn your own money seriously.

meanwhile, i am still hoping for it to miracle-ly reappear once again. though i think it's impossible because i didn't take it out at all and i am sure that i didn't drop it. maybe i need a detective conan or kindaichi to help me solve this case. sigh!!!! :(

lastly, i just have to take real good care of my belongings in the future. and dear friends, do be careful too!


yuehui

okokokok i know it's been awhile since i last blogged about something.
i think i'm just being reallyyyyyy lazy. :\

in a blink of an eye, half a year has already gone just like that!
omg, time really does fly. :O

anyways, nothing much happening.... but last month i helped out my international department colleagues with the YouTube Stars concert.. it went well and it was all good!

i'm finally done with exams at the moment for this semester. life without exams or assignments rocks so so much..... but reality will set back in when July comes yawns.....

oh yeah, so over the weekend i went to catch Hebe's concert... no doubt about her vocal, it was great. god has given such a talent to a girl who loves to sing, how fortunate!!

what's up for this weekend is that i. am. going. to. bangkok. wooyayyyyyy!!!!!
finally a mid year break. LOL. it's a short getaway but better than nothing! i totally deserve it LOLOLOL!

i reckon i need to travel out of singapore constantly to keep myself sane haha. i am looking forward to this rest and relax trip HAHAHAHA. massage, cafe-exploring and lepak here i come!!!! however, before i even embark my mid year break journey, i am already thinking of going somewhere else at end of the year. yep, i literally spent all my money on travel and food like that, because i really love it. #noregrets HAAHAHAHA!!!! :\ oh well cuz YOLO! :B

k bubye! :))


yuehui

hello, goodbye

i'm still alive

been through a roller coaster week of things said but left me unconvinced still.

but it must have made people wondered what the hell is wrong with me.

well, nothing's wrong with me... it's just that i guess it's about time to not let people climb over my head anymore cuz i had enough.

or well, you could say i'm crazy cuz i'm working under unhealthy environment. period.

and i've come to yet another realization in friendship.

further proving me that friend is indeed not forever.

anws today YY and i met into a bitch

i don't understand what's the point of people being bitchy when you already don't look good yet you still want to be dislike further? funny.

it's really funny that THESE PEOPLE really DO exist, ugly people in the sense of having ugly heart; but in this case is having an ugly heart and literally, ahem, if you know what i mean. -insert 9gag mr bean's face-

it's okay, what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger, bring it on bitch. 沒在怕的!!

goodnight, can't wait for this weekend to be over

yuehui

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. :\

新年快樂~~~
龍年行大運！！！！！

may the 小人 leave us far far away hahahahahaha
train your dragon to lead you through a wonderful great year!!!!!!! hehe :p

anyways, first post in 2012 woots!
went and came back from wonderful tokyo. but i wished i could speak/understand japanese language so the trip would be much better lol. more on the trip in the next few posts when i'm feeling less lazy :/ overall, the trip was good but came back feeling really broke haha.

my company has a really long break for CNY this year. we are actually starting work on Friday heh! being the lazy ass me, i decided to take Friday off since it's like only one day of work in this week? furthermore, it's laoniang's birthday!! didn't want to go to work cuz i don't feel like it! LOL LIKE A BOSS ONLY. :p

ok that's about it for now
goodnight everybardi
be good xx

ps: snoopy's street fair soo cute lol :\


yuehui